by Phoolanjaya Beale
For me meditation has been like discovering a secret, a most precious and wondrous secret, a secret I was longing to know for quite some time. There is a doorway deep inside each one of us. Like in 'The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe' story, it appears at first that perhaps the doorway is only a closet, that it doesn't go anywhere.
As I practised meditation and learned to bring stillness into my mind, a doorway began to open in the silence. A new exploration was beginning. Through this doorway I find a new world, undiscovered, untapped. Within a few steps into this world - the spiritual heart - I realise with astonishment that it is absolutely vast and endless. With each gentle in-breath I am being drawn deeper into this vastness that is filled with tremendous beauty, a luminous divine beauty, infinite peace and power, like standing in front of a great mountain range or a vast ocean. Yet the majesty and delight of this world has seemingly even more depth and divine power than any landscape on the earthly plane. Just being there a few minutes is enough to fill the entire day with new meaning, fulfilment and a sense that everything is just perfect.
Each day I revisit this place inside me, and each time brings a new view, a new inner experience, a new satisfaction. To my greatest joy and surprise I realise that this new inner world is actually a part of me!! My previous limited conception of who I am constantly has to be re-worked!
But to call this world ‘new’ is perhaps incorrect because after some time one realises that it has always been inside. So really it is like discovering a buried treasure. Buried, because of the constant activity of the mind, the preoccupation with the busy and consuming outer world and the misunderstanding that our body, thoughts and senses are the only reality. What a relief to discover that this is not so! The treasure we discover is ours, our very own for eternity. Our inner world leads us to the source of all our divinity, our deepest love and highest lasting happiness. The happiness that flows from this inner world into my everyday life is most striking because it depends on no outer situation, no other person, no earthly wealth. No matter where I am or what is happening it is present, a secret fount flowing, that no one can take away.
I am so grateful for the opportunity to experience all that I have through my meditation. There is of course still so much uncharted territory to explore, divine qualities and experiences to uncover. Each meditation brings a new understanding and revelation about the true essential nature of human beings. And who is the guide through all these inner journeys? Who is showing me and allowing me to enter into the inner most depths? It is the secret and silent act of our very own soul, who resides in this inner world and whose light and radiance permeates our entire being. When the time is right, when our longing and cry to become more, and know more reaches a certain point, the soul, with utmost love, begins to secretly draw us towards that secret doorway and show us the greatest secrets to ever be discovered.
- Phoolanjaya is a member of the Sri Chinmoy Centre in Auckland, New Zealand, where she regularly offers free meditation classes.